Wednesday, October 01, 2008

How Dare you K!!!!
Free Publishing for 5,000 Will Publish 5,000 Writers For Free!!

Arts Council funded will publish the first 5,000 writers who contact us for Free - Fiction & Non-Fiction.
Absolutely appalled!!

This is outrageous, truly a bad, bad and dangerous development.

Quality control gone by the wayside for some tin pot scheme which will bring 5000 books into the world that will not sell, that will not lead to commercial publishing for all but the most talented of authors, who will not sign up for it, because there is no one there to give them feedback and tell them what they have to do next to become a published author in the real sense of having an editor-author relationship, which underpins the very edifice of Publishing.

i am very very concerned about this and have written letters to eighteen different organisations about it, demanding it be stopped, that the arts council staff who came up with this stupid idea, and all those responsible, be immediately dismissed from their jobs.

i am starting a campiagn against it, and if any of you sensible people are concerned enough to get involved, there will be a demonstration in ten cities across the world, where we will be demanding this outrage cease. please get involved, please, please write to the arts council and your local TD, MP, Congress-person, Senator, and representatives for the bodies which conduct the political life of yr area, please, please, this runs against all natural law and i am very very concerned, consumed with fears, and am totally and utterley appalled.

if this venture has not been called off by Friday 3rd October, i will be chaining myself to railings of the arts council and beginning a hunger strike.

This is no laughing matter, this is pathetic, stupid, reckless, wanton and - if not criminal - certainly should be.

Come, come with us and let us show the world, we are intelligent, thoughtful, human lovers of literature which at least has some quality control checks and balances at the entry point.

already i have lost quite a lot of sleep about this, unable to work and am starting to suffer from depression. if my mental or physical health deteriates to the point where i am unable to conduct my lawful daily business, i will be suing the arts council for damages.

i have already engaged a barrister on a retainer of 5000 and a daily fee of 500 sterling, to make sure every legal avenue is explored for this reckless, entirely innapropriate venture to get stopped.

And whatever you do, do not buy a book called Ovid Yeats - Love Poems, by Desmond Swords.

Desmond Swords book, if it comes out, will corrupt the very fabric of eternal space and time (if such a state exists) and will corrupt our loved ones, make clever people stupid, take away the voting rights of the appalled and cause others great distress in their professional and personal lives, due to his disguise of grey hair, five ten, very very superficially compelling onscreen when reading live poetry, which has been enhanced with computer graphics to make him appear attractive to both men and women of all ages, and there is a very real danger, should this book

Ovid Yeats - Love Poems

by desmond swords, with a deep passion, nay addiction for bardic lore, the voice appearing out of nowhere, happy to have in a shop window speaking all new.

. can make your children, cleverer, happier, stop them getting bullied at school, make them lose their spots, become a millionaire at 12, just by looking at this book

Love Poems - Ovid Yeats

confer a cloak of invisibility upon anyone within six yards of it, make you a better ballet dancer, to olympic standards, just by touching the cover, and live forever should you read one line of the first poem, and become ...

you get the picture, stop

Desmond Swords, be appalled with me, come, come, let us strap up, this rougue intellectual poet.

. i am appalled!!!


Anonymous said...

Oh my god I agree wholeheartedly.

"I have a prize. I am appalled." --> now doesn't that sound familiar from All Those Poetry Blogs

(what about "I've been accepted by a major publisher BY THE WAY, therefore you will read what I read and like what I like and buy what I buy and boycott what I boycott and if you do not I will DELETE YOUR COMMENTS ON SIGHT")

Lots of love,
Poet on Fire

Annie Wicking said...

Hello BA,
I was just very interested in see what your blog is like after meeting you on Jane Smith blog...

Well you seem to be an interesting sort of person.

Best wishes,

Background Artist said...

Hi Annie.

Thank you very much for the compliment. Please, call me Desmond or des or whatever you like.

Yeah, Jane Smith really laid into Ted at YouWriteOn sneered and was really a very dreary bore. First she tried to trash this project offering no evidence for her claims, and then came up with some garbled tin pot figures about some crap book she had published with Lulu, admitting they were being concoted with the help of a child, off the top of her head, not disclosing the fact that the small print showed them to be 44% less than she had lead us to believe and which were motivated by jealousy of the youwriteon deal, on which she made her groundless attack.

Instead of being positive in the face of an unknown, she chose to be a sneery drip, just because she has some tin pot job in Puiblishing and is using her blog to feel good about herself by jeering at others working very hard to democracy the industry she wants to stay as/is so she can have dickheads bending the knee tyo her superior intelligence, which is actually, much thicker than she would wish us to know.

Instead of waiting for the outcome, she stuck the boot straight in and proved what an unintelligent person she is, by getting all arsey, calling me her pet troll, with this very reasonable comment below which she reckons is offensive, me asking please and thank in straightforward lingo, and offering her and that other middle aged bore cheerleading and licking her ass, a free book. ha ha.

text in bold indicates it was fiorst used by the opposing fickos of Jane and Sally of the Rainbow imperialist wimmin moan collective.



Hi Sally.

take no notice of me, i am a


which -

I'm afraid...Jane and Sally.. are typical of so many uninformed writers who know nothing of this legal system that ran for 1200 yrs in print, by poet/lawyers whose writer training stretches back to druids.


Jane, i am assuming you are not a barrister specialising in publishing law and have not been in front of any judge in court, and - if this is the case - yr position is not one i can put the fullest of faith in as a serious expert who has succesfully or otherwise tested yr theories out in the real legal world.

Further, the arguments you have used to rebut the very pertinent Lulu information you did not disclose and which i did, is not very persuasive from a legal standpoint. There are a number of points i wish you to address please.

1 - In response to the 30 day dissolving clause, you state

That is a very common misconception

..but fail to cite any legal authority to back up this claim. We just have to take your word for it, based on the strength of what we have read on this website in relation to your claims about youwriteon.

2 - In yr original post citing Lulu as a better bet, you failed to disclose the 80 20 split between the author and Lulu after printing costs, and on first reading it, i assumed you were inferring that the author's cut would be 100% of what was left after printing costs.

Further, compounding this failure to tell us of the 80 - 20 split, you also failed to tell us of the 30% tak on the 80% royalties, which in real terms make this Lulu deal a net 56 20 20 split between author, publisher and american government.

And when it was brought to our attention, that the Lulu deal you (as i took it) inferred was a 100% of what's left after printing costs to the author deal - but which was actually just over half of that when the small print was analysed -- your response was to say:

There might be tax implications for UK residents using Lulu: but they could always use Lightning Source, or another UK-based POD service.

Tax implications, (sounds very benign) as in 44% less than what yr post lead the reader to believe.

3 - In relation to the precious first rights point, you tell me i:

..misunderstand how rights work. First rights are used up the first time a book is published.

..but this depends if there is a piece of legislation which enshrines this first rights law in the custody of the commercial entity who did so. A Magna Carta, Bill of Rights or Constitution type of publishing-law document which voids any contract stating the contrary.

You fail to cite an authority to back up yr claim on this, and i would be very grateful if you could do so please.


Sally, if you read what i have written very carefully, as you exhort Anne to yrs, you will see that what i am saying about the Tudors is very simple. That Henry viii and especially his daughter, set the modus operandi of Publishing in the modern English language. What Publisher Chris Hamilton Emery describes as the courtly model in which a writer submits and is either accepted or (as in most cases) rejected, like a courtier in the tudor court, which was the one in existence when mass printing by physical means with Caxton, first took off and spread the seeds of an imperial empire.

Maybe this metaphor is too difficult for you to understand? If so, i suggest you buy my book, Desmond Swords, Love Poems, to cheer yourself up about yr current upset. In fact, i will buy you and Jane one both and send it to you, and then you can speak of what you think of it. It won't cost a penny, and who knows, you might even like my poetry, hey?

Do you know anything at all about brehon law gels? if not just admit it and ask me, i am happy to help if you are interested finding out further.


yr servant

Sir desmond Swords


grá agus síocháin

Annie Wicking said...

Hi Desmond,
Do you have a book on YWO... I'm signed up to YWO and found it very helpful I've taken my novel off at the moment as I'm rewriting after receiving some helpful comments from a publisher.

If could you like chat more about writing and our books please feel free to email me:

Best wishes,


Poet in Residence said...

"The world's bookshelves are already groaning under the weight of crap so why add to it" (Bukowski I reckon)
So what's all this Barnsley bulldog business? What MacMillan are you lurking to? Surely not the Rt Hon Harold "You've Never Had It So Good" MacMillan - later Lord Stockton is it? I never knew he was a Yorkie.
Barnsley Bitter men. Now there was an ad.